


Agent Afloat

by yzba



Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-03
Updated: 2011-07-03
Packaged: 2017-10-21 00:03:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/218590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yzba/pseuds/yzba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back on solid ground, Tony realizes some changes are in order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Agent Afloat

He could still feel the boat rocking beneath his feet, could still hear the thunder overhead. He knew the smell of fuel and sea would linger on his skin for weeks and he wasn't sure how he felt about it.

The joy of being back in D.C was strong but it was also underlined with the feeling that things weren't quite right. He should know, he'd lived with that feeling for months, ever since his gut had started screaming at him back in Los Angeles. The reassignment had come so close on the heels of losing Jenny that he'd put everything on the move.

Yet here he was, back to the place he'd missed like a phantom limb from the first moment he'd walk onto the plane that would take him away.

The discordant note that had bothered him aboard two carriers was still there, was getting stronger even as Abby held on to him and as Gibbs shook his hand. For a moment, he missed the steady rocking of a ship he hated, missed the knowledge that his place was somewhere else.

Aboard the ship, somewhere else had been Washington and the Navy Yard, it had been his desk in the bullpen with the sound of Ziva teasing him and McGee trying to outshine him. It had been Abby's bounciness and Ducky's rambleness.

It had been Gibbs and all the things the other man meant.

Gibbs.

Cop, Marine, boss, hard hand that could somehow keep him in line without stifling him, an unmistable presence that could both soothe and terrify.

It had been the dream that things could be different, that all the suppressed feelings that mixed in his head, in his heart could see the light of day. An impossible hope, Tony knew, but thousands of miles away from everyone he cared about, one lonely soul surrounded by sailors who didn't give a damn about him, that hope had kept him from drinking himself into oblivion. Had kept him from contemplating taking a swan dive from the tail of the ship.

He'd still drank, he'd still blamed himself for something he knew he couldn't really have stopped. Jenny had been determined to die, and Tony wouldn't have had a chance in hell of stopping her.

He'd live with it for the rest of his life, one more ghost in a head filled with them. One more deadly mistake.

The guilt was one thing to live with, he'd dealt with one form or another of it all his life. He knew how to suppress it when things were good, and how to sweat it out when they weren't.

What Tony couldn't live with was the accusation in Gibbs' eyes.

The affair between Gibbs' and Sheppard might have been over for years but that kind of history never really went away. It had been there for everyone to see in the looks Jenny gave Gibbs, in the way they stood that inch too close to each other. There might have been anger between the ex lovers but the emotions that had brought them together at one point were still there. Not love anymore, not even really attraction, but that affection that stayed behind even after the passion had melted to memories.

He didn't think Gibbs would ever really forgive him for leaving her without backup.

Tony was a bit surprised to find himself landlocked again. The Boss hadn't seem to be in any hurry to bring him home, and he'd seen the surprise in Gibbs' eyes when he'd announced he'd been reassigned to the Yard again.

His return had likely more to do with Abby putting a fuss and annoying Vance until he'd caved.

Maybe he should have done his full tour on the _Seahawk_. It would have been a quiet way to end his career as a Navy cop. Three more months aboard and he could have quietly resigned. The team would have slowly forgotten him and he could have started again in another city.

Tony shook himself. He was getting maudlin. He looked up to meet Abby's eyes. "Need a ride home?"

Home. At the moment, he didn't have one, everything he owned was locked in a storage unit, awaiting a decision he hadn't been able to make yet.

"Nah. I'mma grab a cab."

"I don't mind Tony, really."

He had to get the idea out of her mind. His only destination tonight would be the nearest hotel. He wanted to shower off the scent of steel walls before slipping between clean sheets for a few hours. After months of being alone, his team was a bit overwhelming, and he longed for a few minutes of silence.

Abby wouldn't be able to keep quiet, and the last thing he wanted was for her to feel bad for his lack of housing.

"I'm not exactly looking forward to having to fold myself into your car Abs."

"But-"

"It's okay Abby, I'll take care of getting Tony home." Gibbs' voice cut any further arguments off.

Having Gibbs as a driver wasn't any better than having Abby but it would be more quiet in any case. If he played his cards right, Gibbs would have no idea that his old apartment wasn't his anymore and he could call a cab once the other man was gone.

In silence, he grabbed his seabag and kissed Abby on the cheek. "See you in the morning Beautiful."

The ride down the elevator was quiet because it was made with Gibbs but for once, Tony didn't feel the need to fill the silence with chatter, the loudness of his own confused thoughts more than enough to keep him distracted. He followed Gibbs to his parking spot and dropped the bag into the waiting trunk.

"Where to?"

Tony hesitated a second. "My place."

He could feel Gibbs' eyes on him for a few seconds longer than necessary and Tony bit back the curse. Something in his answer had snagged the older man's attention and all his focus was now on him.

 _Shit._

With the kind of mood he was in, the last thing he needed was being interrogated.

When Gibbs kept silent and merely started the car, Tony let escaped a quiet sigh of relief.

Until he realized Gibbs wasn't driving towards his old apartment complex. "Ah, Gibbs?"

"Yeah?" The older man drawled.

"Where are we going? This isn't the way to my place." Tony felt obligated to point out, even though it was pretty obvious.

"Home."

He'd never understand the man. He'd been working with him for close to seven years, minus the time the other man spent in Mexico and his own latest stint at sea and still, sometimes, the urge to strangle Gibbs until he let out more than one word answers was almost overwhelming.

He was about to question the man further when he recognized the route.

Home. As in Gibbs'.

 _Great._

"Just drop me off here." He knew his voice had just gone colder, but Tony was too tired to care. His patience was slowly giving way to anger and Gibbs was a pretty good target. Especially since the man seemed to be determined to piss Tony off.

"Nope."

Red clouding the edges of his vision, Tony bit off. "Stop the car."

"You're coming to my place until you get things straightened out here."

"Fuck you." Tony had no doubt that later, he would wonder what had made him snap. As it was, he was past the point of caring, the months spent left behind the final drop that made him explode.

Gibbs raised a dark eyebrow. "I've got no idea what's crawled up your ass DiNozzo, but calm down. We're going to my place and you're going to get a good night's sleep and I'll forget what you just said."

Tony laughed bitterly. "I see, I'm back in D.C for a few hours and we're back to you bossing me around. I don't even get one night to myself before I have to bow down to the great Jethro Gibbs." He wasn't making sense, and he knew it. But the anger he'd been suppressing for years was suddenly spilling out in a geyser and it felt too good to ignore it.

"Be careful Tony."

Gibbs parked the car and Tony didn't wait before he was out of the vehicule and up the stairs. Knowing Gibbs, he pushed the door opened before he whirled around.

"Careful? Why the hell should I be careful Gibbs?"

"You're back on my team now."

"So what, you'll fire me if I don't shut up? Is that it? Wow, that'd be the shortest assignment in the history of NCIS." He sneered the words out. "I shouldn't be surprised, after all you worked _so hard_ to get me back here. Probably waiting for an excuse to fire me, huh?"

"DiNozzo." Gibbs barked the word out but Tony had long since become immuned to the guy's techniques.

"Well, since it looks like I'm on my way out, why should I shut up? I've had enough of the head slaps, of you not trusting me, of you hiding whatever the hell you think we don't need to know. Seven years Gibbs, and most days, it feels like I'm still the rookie agent for all the confidence you have in me. I'm the screw up, right? The guy who can't have one fucking good idea, the guy most likely to fail, the one with the shittiest jobs and I've had it up to here with all that." Hands moving wildly as he exploded, Tony started pacing around the living room. "I think I can count on one hand the number of times I got a 'good job Tony'. Hell, you've got McGee, the precious little McGeek, the guy who can do no wrong, the Director's golden boy, and Ziva, the agent you trusted within five minutes of meeting. But me. Me, the guy who's been on your six for years, all I get are those fucking slaps and the 'don't screw up DiNozzo'."

"Tony."

Tony ignored him. "But you know what? I've had enough. I quit. Maybe I'll call Fornell, see if he'll offer me a job with the rest of the rejects-r-us. Can't be worst than this gig. No more head slaps at least, and maybe I won't get anymore cars blown up, and I won't get the goddamned plague. Maybe I'll get a boss who doesn't treat me like shit."

"Stop." Gibbs' voice was underlined with steel but Tony wasn't done yet. This had been a long time coming and if he was going out, he'd do it with a bang.

"Why the fuck did you keep me on huh? Because I'm the good little doggy always on your heels, you just have to throw me a bone once in a while and I'll follow your every order? Well here's some news Gibbs. I'm not one of your soldiers, even good dogs can turn on their masters when they've been hit one too many times." His gait turned predatory as he stalked towards the other man. "I'd have done anything you asked. I'd have crawled through whatever hell was necessary for you Gibbs. And I'd have been happy to do it. I wasn't asking for much, I wasn't asking for what I really wanted, I only needed you to trust me." He stopped in front of the other man. "Well now, I've got nothing left to lose."

Tony crashed his lips against Gibbs' in a bruising kiss. He was burning all his bridges in one spectacular move and he knew it. If the words hadn't been enough to make sure Gibbs would accept his resignation, the kiss would do the job quite well. The bonus was finally getting what he'd been dreaming of for years. Using teeth and lips on the other man's mouth, he was going to take whatever he could before he got his lights punched out.

Gibbs was irresponsive against him and Tony finally realized what he was doing. He'd never forced himself on anyone before, and he wouldn't start with the ex marine. Anger still pulsing in his blood, he let the other man go, only to be surprised by the weight of Gibbs pushing him against the wall.

Already resigned to getting the beat down of his life, Tony blanked out when he felt Gibbs lips cover his own again. Lust shot up his spine and Tony eagerly opened up to the demanding tongue requesting entrance. The kiss was hard and brutal but Tony felt his body responding anyway.

Gibbs moved his head back enough to be able to breath and Tony shuddered at the sight of blue eyes gone almost black. "Is this really what you want Tony?" Gibbs' voice was dark with something Tony couldn't identify and he hesitated a fraction of a second before he nodded.

 _In for a penny..._

Tony felt Gibbs tugging harshly at his shirt and he moved with the other man to get it off. He jumped in surprise when he felt a hard palm cupping him through his pants but he couldn't stop himself from arching into it, body already on fire.

Senses in overdrive, mind blessedly empty save for the chant of _more, more, more_ going into an endless loop, Tony pushed and claw at fabric, mindless of buttons flying in every direction and tugging at a recalcitrant belt until he could finally put his hands on skin. He leaned down and used teeth and tongue on an erect nipple, feeling harsh fingers into his hair as Gibbs tugged him back up so he could ravage his mouth with another bruising kiss.

With a dark chuckle, Tony pushed the other man away and dropped to his knees, smoothly swallowing the offered cock in one single movement, the taste of bitter precome heavy on his tongue as he he felt it bump against the back of his throat. There was no finesse, no gentleness as he swallowed the other man as deeply as he could, saliva trailing down the length in a messy and dirty blowjob.

In the back of his mind, in that place where his concious thoughts usually were, he could hear a voice, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Jeanne's saying _What are you doing Tony?_. With a snarl, he pushed it away, sinking his nails in the firm flesh of the ass he'd been covering for so long.

He heard the low moan from far away, and a dark smile stretched his lips. With renewed vigor, and too much dark pleasure, he licked a long strip from root to tip before he plunging back down, with just that little bit of teeth that spelled danger. Gibbs arched into it, into Tony's mouth, and Tony hummed wickedly in answer, knowing the vibrations would shot through Gibbs' cock.

With less carefulness than should have been warranted, Tony used one finger to barely breached Gibbs' hole, and Gibbs' growled.

Amused, Tony slipped one digit besides Gibbs' cock, slicking it with the messy mix of saliva and precome. The now slicked finger moved back to the dark ring of muscle and pushed through it, until Tony's finger was buried all the way.

Gibbs' snapped his hips forward and Tony smiled again. The older man was working himself between Tony's mouth and finger, but Tony had something else in mind. Taking Gibbs' cock as deeply as he could, he swallowed around it at the same time as he curled his finger against Gibbs' prostate.

Gibbs came with a swallowed scream, down Tony's throat in long, seemingly endless streams. Tony eagerly swallowed it all, working Gibbs through his orgasm, thick heavy come nearly choking him.

Once Gibbs was spent, Tony let his cock go with a quiet pop, raising to his feet as he used a finger to wipe the few errands milky drops he'd missed from the corner of his lips. With a sarcastic smile, he licked his finger before he looked at Gibbs, eyes dark.

"Well, as far as a goodbye fuck goes, that was spectacular." He said, ignoring his own heavy erection. The last thing he wanted, or needed, was for Gibbs to touch him. He knew he was walking a thin line and he was in no hurry to take a fall from it. Gibbs' hands on him would no doubt be the final hit that could break him apart, and Tony swore to himself he wouldn't let the other man see how broken he really was.

Any screaming, crying and raging he had to do would wait until he was alone.

Gibbs cocked his head to the side, blue eyes inscrutable as the seemed to see right through Tony. "What about you." He asked and Tony swallowed thickly, the aftertaste of bitter come all he could taste. "I'm good, thank you." He replied, and heard laughter in his mind.

Here he was, going so slowly and inexorably crazy. So polite when all he wanted was to scream at the older man again, scream until he broke that damn rigid control he'd hated since the first day. He felt his insides tightened and gave his trademark DiNozzo smile. The one that was as real as Pamela Anderson's bra size and about as warm as a Dairy Queen's ice cream freezer in August.

"Well, better go then." He leaned down, hands reaching for his discarded shirt when Gibbs' voice stopped him.

"Tony."

Grin still in place, body still folded towards the floor, Tony looked up. "Hey, I'm good! You'll tell Abby I'll call her in a few days, right?"

He wouldn't, but no one from his old team needed to know that. The break would be a clean one, with as little drama as he could manage. _Too late for that_ he thought, but it was done, and it might have been as much mistake as getting off of the _Seahawk_ had been, but Tony couldn't bring himself to regret it yet.

In a few days, the reality that he'd just blown his boss or rather, his ex-boss would no doubt settled in, and the sheer stupidity of the action would hit him. But for now, with Gibbs' taste still heavy on his tongue, and with the sight of a still naked ex Marine in front of him, he couldn't bring himself to care. The damage was done, his bridges were burned, and at least, he'd gotten a taste, _literally_ of what he'd been pining after for more years than Tony was willing to admit.

He was slipping into his shirt when he felt Gibbs' hand on his shoulder. "Don't go."

Speechless for half a second, Tony shook his head, a rueful smirk on his lips. "I know I'm good Boss, but I don't do encores." He stiffled his wince and managed not to stumble on the title, but it took everything he had not to break down at the touch. He could hear himself screaming, begging for a scrap, for one single hint that this hadn't been born out of anger, something to be regretted as soon as it was over.

He knew better, but the dream was sweet nonetheless.

"Tony." Because he was looking, he saw Gibbs swallow, and Tony purposefully moved his gaze so he was looking just over the other man's shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

There was no humor in Tony's chuckle. He felt Gibbs wince rather than saw it, and that little voice in his mind made itself known. _Wow, Gibbs apologizing, you must really look like shit for it to happen._ This time, the voice was Kate's and the stab of pain was something he'd growned used to.

"This shouldn't have happened."

 _Looks like I was right_ Tony thought. Something to be regretted as soon as it was over.

Well, regret was something he was very familiar with, so another mistake wouldn't weight that heavily in the balance. _Except, this time, it's Gibbs._

"I won't tell anyone, don't worry."

Gibbs moved so fast it was almost a blur. "Damnit Tony, that's not what I meant." Strong fingers on his chin moved his head until he had no choice but to meet Gibbs' stare head on.

There was sorrow in those blue eyes Tony hadn't expected to see.

"The problem ain't that it happened, it's how it happened. Angry sex is not how I figured this would go."

The words floored Tony and he was speechless for long seconds.

Gibbs spoke up again, his voice soft. "I don't want you to leave Tony. I've been busting my ass off to get you back here."

Just that quickly, the little flair of hope that had sparked in Tony's stomach disappeared. This was about him resigning, not about - how was he supposed to think of it, blowjob? Sex? Encounter? Tony mentally snorted. It didn't matter what he called it, the point was that this wasn't what Gibbs was referring to.

Something of his thoughts must have shown on his face because Gibbs shook his head, something Tony couldn't identify in his eyes. "You dumbass." There was warmth there, and a kind of fond amusement. "I missed you, and I was thinking, well hoping anyway-" Gibbs cut himself off, embarassement plain to see. "that maybe I'd get a chance to see if you were interested."

Mind blank, Tony looked at Gibbs.

"What?" He croaked out.

Mischief lighting blue up, Gibbs smiled softly, his face suddenly seeming ten years younger. "Wanna go on a date with me DiNozzo?"

The words were so unexpected that Tony sunk to the floor, Gibbs following until he was kneeling on one knee in front of a seated Tony.

"I'm serious here Tony."

"You- date- me?" He knew he wasn't making a whole lot of sense but Tony wasn't exactly caring.

"Yes Tony. I want to date you." Gibbs replied, amused.

"Why?" The word was out before Tony could reign it in.

"Because I like ya."

"You do?" He knew he sounded like a moron, but it wasn't exactly a first and given the subject of discussion, he figured Gibbs didn't care.

"Yes, I do."

Tony looked down. His mind was whirling with questions and he felt like he'd just run a marathon. Too much emotions, to many mood swings in too short a time, all of it coupled with the day's case and the emotional highs and lows of finding himself back in D.C.

However, he wasn't stupid enough to not understand he'd just gotten his fondest wish on a silver platter.

Pushing away everything else, he looked up again and easily met bright blue eyes.

"Dinner?"


End file.
